DON’T “Give us a brake”!

I tend to text/update my fbook/twitter when I drive a lot because ever since I moved to the northeast from Texas, I have developed a common disorder seen in people up here called ROAD RAGE. I’m sure many of you have either been on the giving or receiving end of this behavioral problem. If you’ve been on the receiving end, it’s because you suck at driving. Well, maybe you don’t suck at driving, but when someone was yelling at you or cutting you off on the road recently, you sucked at driving… at that moment.

I talk… yell… scream… make weird noises such as “ARGH” and “UGH”.

But why does it even have to come to that?? Why do slow drivers insist on driving 40mph on a 65mph highway? Why do people who haven’t mastered talking on cell phones and driving at the same time even bother getting behind the wheel?

And the most ANNOYING thing to me is when drivers step on their brakes for NO REASON at all. There is no one in front of them, no one to the side of them. Yet, they want to brake just for the hell of it. Let’s make all the drivers behind them miserable and start honking. I am also fortunate to have people brake in front of me when someone is in the OTHER LANE brakes. Some dude is braking to freaking exit off the highway, and the douche in front of me has to brake.

Do those red lights scare you? Do they make you nervous? I don’t get it. Someone please explain it to me because I am flabbergasted at this idiotic behavior.

These people who suck at life, let’s just give them the Indian Name “Suck at Driving”, make my commute all the more fun. And by fun, I mean not fun. It’s opposite day. By the time I get to work or home, my blood pressure is higher, and I’m hungry. This shit takes so much freakin energy out of you.

So you people, “Suck at Driving”, just pull over to the right lane if you want to drive slowly. If you’re following directions, talking on the cell phone, keeping an eye on your kid – all understandable things – just get out of the way of the people who have an agenda and destination that they’d like to reach quickly.

And by the way, I know it may sound like I’m a shitty driver – the kind who cuts you off for no reason. I’m not one of those. I say “whooooooah” when I see one of those. I’m not a bad driver. My husband confirmed this for me a few days ago, so I have proof. 😛 I’m just impatient.

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2 Responses

  1. I was informed by my little one this morning that I was a “bad person” because I’m “always yelling at those drivers in the other cars.” No, sweetie they are the bad people. Mommy is the only person on the face of the planet who knows how to drive. 🙂

  2. […] 3. Improper use of brakes.  What are you stopping for?  Phantom red lights?  Because I don’t see anything in front of you.  Do you think you get better gas mileage by speeding up just to jam on your brakes?  Do you like the way the brake lights rosily illuminate the back seat?  No?  Then why the hell are you treating your brake pedal like a bass drum control?  I think fellow blogger PB&J Chutney summed it up best here. […]

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